Oh lord.... I've been trying not to cry my eyes out since 8:00 this morning.

The second half of the event story, Altered, came out recently, and in it, Kanata and Natsume end up having a conversation between just the two of them.. that ended up revealing even more of Kanata's backstory. Just a heads up that spoilers for that story will be here! If you want to avoid those, please go back to the lovemail page. Thank you!

Before Kanata himself was God, it was his mother who was God. When he was younger, though, his mother never let him call her that; she was God, after all, so she would scold him whenever he called her mother. She actually scolded him often, but she would always end up being right, so he couldn't hate her for it... At some point, though, she died. And when she died, she became one with the Ocean, because Gods never really die. Whenever Kanata would lay in the water, whenever he would go "puka puka," even if he couldn't swim, he would feel like he was being embraced by his mother... He would go to the water whenever he needed her...

The fact that Kanata's mother is gone just,... made me break down. I have so many questions about her, like if she loved Kanata despite it all, if she wished she could've been a normal mother and not a God, if she felt guilt or regret, or if she didn't care at all, if she was too brainwashed by her family because she, unlike Kanata, had no one to save her. It made my head hurt. I love Kanata a lot, if it wasn't obvious from the very existance of this page. He means a lot to me. This reveal, just.... Ouch. In the story, "Purple Wisterias of May," Kanata even says he used to hate his mother. Was it because she would push him away? He doesn't seem to hate her anymore.. Ah I don't know. I can't properly analyze this, I'm too emotional right now.

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